Getting to Yes

So I agreed to co-teach a negotiation skills course at the Institute of International Relations with one of the Fulbright scholars. The course will meet on Wednesdays from 8:30-9:50 am and today was the first day. Considering I usually leave for work at 9:30, this was a bit early for me. I had eaten breakfast before my host sister and host mom were even out of bed. I think the class is going to be fun though. There were about 45 students there today and they’re all 20-22 years old. We introduced ourselves and then did a negotiating role-playing exercise that went over well. The more interactive the class can be the better. The students had a good sense of humor and a lot of them have done the Work and Travel program in the US or will be doing it soon. A couple had been to Maine and New Hampshire. The vast majority are interested in becoming interpreters and living, or at least traveling extensively, abroad. It might also be interesting to note that there were only 4 or 5 guys in the group and 3 of them sat in the back looking disinterested and gruff. This is pretty standard. Anyway I’m looking forward to getting to know them all better and I think it’ll be a good experience.

Opera tickets for $2.50? Thanks Chisinau.

Last night I went to the opera Evgeni Onegin which is based on the novel in verse written by Pushkin, known as the Shakespeare of Russian literature. I had to read the novel in college both in English and Russian so I knew the story well and this made the opera very enjoyable. Not to mention you just can’t beat a Pushkin/Tchaikovsky combo. The Russian was pretty understandable too except when some of the ladies were singing super high and the words weren’t articulated very clearly. I went with a couple of Fulbrighters and my friend Olga who is Aliona’s cousin. So far I’ve only hung out with her in Congaz during Christmas and at the wedding but she lives in Chisinau and is about my age. We get along well so hopefully we’ll see each other more. Before the opera I met up with another Fulbright scholar and a lawyer who works at IOM and studied at George Washington University in DC through a Muskie grant. I had gone to the IOM office last week as well to talk to a lady who works with their counter trafficking program and she said she would help me set up a visit to the shelter for domestic violence and trafficking victims that is run by IOM in coordination with the Moldovan government. She also said that I could probably start volunteering at their office and that would be great because I would learn a great deal from that experience since I would have more access to case studies and recent information.

On Saturday night I arranged a dinner with most of the Fulbright recipients who are in Moldova now so that everyone could meet and share experiences and welcome the two new Fulbright scholars who will be teaching in Chisinau this semester. I think I’m going to help the law professor with a negotiations course he is going to teach so we’ll see how that goes. The other professor is from New Mexico and he and his wife know of Tesuque Glassworks where my future sister-in-law works. He’ll be teaching at the technical university.

In other news, prices across the board in Moldova are going to be going up. I met with a Moldovan friend last week and he was telling me about this. He said that people are starting to come up to him on the street or in cafes asking for a cigarette which is a sign that times are getting tougher. He told me that gas prices in Moldova are over $5/gallon which was pretty surprising. We were also talking about weddings and he said that when you get invited to one it’s considered a black mark or something because it means you’re going to have to give a gift of at least 100 euros to the bride and groom. My Romanian teacher was telling me that she’s heard of people selling their houses just to have enough money to put on a wedding. Needless to say, this is a very, very important event in Moldova. The priorities in Moldovan society tend to differ quite a bit from those in American society in general. Men will spend all their money on a fancy car and live in a tiny dingy apartment because more people will be judging them on the kind of car they drive. Just like how women will save up money for months to spend it all on really nice shoes and makeup.

A Wedding Adventure

This weekend I was able attend my first wedding in Moldova. I took a bus to Congaz, where I spent Orthodox Christmas, Friday afternoon and sat next to a man who is the president of the society for raising sheep and goats in Moldova. He gave me his business card. I got to the bus station in Chisinau about 30 minutes before departure but there were only a couple of spots left in the back of the bus, which only had about 15 seats anyway. This was fine until we got to Comrat, the capital of Gagauzia, and 10 people crammed on the bus where there was standing room only. The windows were all fogged up and I couldn’t see anything so I was lucky that the guy sitting next to me could tell me when I needed to get off in Congaz and told people I needed to get through. Somehow I squeezed past everyone and got off at the bus stop where my friend was meeting me.

A bunch of her relatives were already at the house when I arrived Friday night and there was a lot to do in preparation for the wedding. The real excitement started Saturday morning. We got up around 8 am and a bunch of relatives were at the house by 10 am. They were all really nice people and excited to talk to me about America which was good because my friend was gone for about 3 hours getting her hair done. Some musicians came to the house with an accordion and drum and they played music and we did the hora and ate this round bread called colac in Romanian and everyone had to have some wine. The best man and his mom and the groom stood in the middle of the circle and we danced around them and the they would pour wine into a shot glass and each guest had to have some of it and then was given a piece of the sweet bread. There was also a professional photographer and videographer and at one point I was in another room and heard him talking to my friend about me saying something in English so I was pulled into the living room and had no idea what was going on and then this guy was filming me and the groom had given me a shot of wine to hold so then on the spot I had to be filmed giving a toast. To say the least I haven’t had as much experience giving beautiful, poetic toasts like the Moldovans but I stumbled through it. Soon after that we were on our way to the real start of the wedding adventure.

It was time to drive to the home of the godmother and godfather of the bride and groom’s future children. They are actually the most important members of the wedding party. I got in a car with some of Aliona’s relatives and there were a couple other cars as well. Everyone else got in a big wedding bus. We drove about 20 minutes to the house where the musicians played outside and we danced and then went inside where there was wine and chocolate. After that, it was time to drive to the bride’s house in Comrat. It’s a tradition for the bride to be hidden, but she can always be found under an icon of the Virgin Mary in the house. So we got to the house and everyone went inside where, yes, there was more chocolate and wine and then the groom stood outside the room where the bride was and her relatives teased him and told him they wouldn’t let him marry her and asked for money and this kind of thing. Eventually the groom was able to go into the room with her and she got in one of the cars too so we could all drive back to Congaz.

Once we arrived back in Congaz, we went to a building where they could sign the official marriage documents. The lady there gave a nice speech about love and honoring parents and stuff like that and then the members of the wedding party gave toasts. After that, the bride and groom had their first dance as husband and wife. The next thing to do was to go to where the party would be that night, which was in a nice new building. The room was already set up with all the tables and food and space for dancing. There was more dancing with the circular bread and champagne for the wedding party, and another tradition was for the groom’s mother to feed everyone in the room a spoonful of honey for a sweet life. I was able to partake in this as well. Hopefully no one was sick because all 40 people or so used the same spoon.

The course of events up to this point had already taken about 6 hours, so finally we got to go back to the house and get all dressed up for the dinner and party that would start around 8 pm. When we got back to the place for the party, the bride and groom stood under a decorated arch at the head of the room and all the guests went up to greet them and give them flowers and/or gifts. After that we all sat down at our tables. There were about 200 people there I would say. I got to sit with some of my friend’s cousins who are my age and got along well with them. The next 11 hours (yes the party lasted until 7 am) consisted of eating lots of food, hearing lots of toasts, drinking, watching a dance troupe from Cahul perform, and dancing a lot ourselves. It was very fun. When we got back to the house at 7 am there wasn’t really any place to sleep so I sat around with my friend’s family for a couple hours then got on a bus back to Chisinau with a couple of her cousins. I went to bed right when I got home around noon and slept until 5, had some dinner, and felt recovered. It was quite an experience and I’m glad I had the opportunity to be a part of a wedding that was so different from anything I’ve seen in the US.

Also, perhaps my favorite part of the wedding party is that they played the song "We No Speak Americano" and dedicated it to me. Fun people.

Improvise Quintet and Trip to Cahul

It was another eventful weekend here in Moldova. On Friday night I went to dinner with Rod at an Uzbek restaurant I’ve walked by a bunch of times and have wanted to try. The atmosphere there was really nice and the food was great. We both had pilaf with mutton and some of the traditional bread and a salad. The pilaf (Plov in Russian) reminded me of my host mom in Vladimir because she used to make that too and it tasted just about the same. After dinner we went to an underground bar I’ve been to several times to see the Improvise Quintet perform. The Facebook page said it would start at 7:30 so we got there at that time and didn’t realize until about 8:50 that we were in the wrong room because I guess they have changed the setup. We had to go through the door that is labeled as the bathroom and then there was another room where the band was performing. We only missed about 15 minutes so it wasn’t a big deal but it was still fairly confusing. Somehow these Russian girls that were sitting at our table realized that we were there for the concert and told us where to go. The band was good; the lead singer is a girl with a really pretty voice and she plays the saxophone in the group as well. In addition there was a classical acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass guitar, and electronic drum kit thing. Here is the website for the band so you can check it out http://improvise-quintet.com/.

On Saturday I headed to Cahul to visit Rebecca since Liz, Melissa, and some Peace Corps Volunteers were there as well. This was the farthest I’ve been from Chisinau. I managed to get on one of the express buses to Cahul so it only took 2.5 hours. It took about 4 to get back yesterday. On the way down the bus was pretty empty so that made the trip much more enjoyable and I was able to get some reading done. When I got to Cahul they were all downtown so Rebecca met me and we got some food at Andy’s Pizza. Cahul felt very different from other places I’ve been in Moldova right away because you don’t see or hear Russian nearly as often. It’s a nice town though and the university where Rebecca teaches is beautiful. We hung out at her apartment, Rebecca made delicious soup, and Liz taught me some moves from her strip tease exercise/dance class she takes in Comrat. This is very popular in Moldova apparently. Later a few of us went to the disco in town which was pretty swanky. Melissa and I rode back to Chisinau together the next day and when I got home my host mom’s dad and cousin were there so we had a nice dinner together with champagne because I guess we were still celebrating the old style New Year in which the beginning of the year starts on January 14^th like I mentioned in my last post.

In other news, later this week I’ll have a meeting with a lady at the International Organization for Migration (IOM) who should be able to provide a lot of useful information for my research. On Friday I think I am heading back to Congaz for my friend’s brother’s wedding. The Fulbright scholars who will be teaching in Chisinau for spring semester should be here soon too.

Problems with the National Referral System

An issue that I have been interested in learning more about through my research is the apparent lack of communication, coordination, and collaboration between government bodies, NGOs, international organizations, and faith-based organizations. Over the past 10 years or so, much has been done to streamline processes and increase coordination efforts with the adoption of a National Referral System and events such as the OSCE-led Anti-Trafficking Coordination Meeting that is held monthly in Chisinau and includes representatives from the Moldovan government and a variety of orgs. I was at such a meeting this morning, and this issue was a heated topic of conversation. A representative from the Ministry of Labor, Social Protection, and Family made a comment early on about the National Referral System and how it is still not yet working the way it should. In 2006 the system was piloted, and it was officially adopted in 2008. It is meant to ensure that all the needs of trafficking victims or potential victims are met so that they are referred to the NGOs or other organizations that can best address what they need whether it is shelter, medical attention, legal consult, or a combination of many different services. She said that now NGOs help victims who call their hotlines or are referred by law enforcement as best they can but then do not cooperate with other organizations to ensure that they get care that they cannot provide themselves. The system should also work to collect correct and up to date statistics and data on human trafficking, but it is really failing in this sense and many people addressed this problem at the meeting.

Representatives from the Center to Prevent Trafficking in Women gave a presentation on their services and annual report and the same lady from the Ministry called them out on not using the National Referral System the way they should. She said that it is necessary to report all cases of trafficking victims to the labor ministry so that they can be recorded in the database and this ministry should be responsible for the repatriation process and she hadn’t been informed of any of the specific cases that the NGO brought up during the presentation. It’s clearly a complicated system and difficult to communicate easily and efficiently with all the actors involved. The long process of getting help for the victims hardly helps their situation and the ladies from the center noted that many times their beneficiaries drop their cases and just go abroad again because everything takes such a long time.

Neverending celebrations

The holidays are still going strong here in Moldova. On January 7 I got to experience my first Orthodox Christmas celebration, and the Old New Year will be celebrated January 13-14. For Christmas, I had the chance to go to a village in Gagauzia with my co-worker/friend Aliona. We arrived at her house on the evening of the 6th and I was able to be a part of the tradition in the villages where boys dressed in traditional Moldovan costume go around to all the houses and sing carols. Then we put flowers in their hats and give them money and a special round bread (although Aliona’s mom decided to give cake instead this year). By doing this, the people of the house ensure that they will have a good harvest and luck throughout the year. One of the boys also had to play the role of the cat who runs in at the end as they are about to leave and steals the money and bread from the guys. It was pretty entertaining.


On the 7th I went with Aliona and her parents to her cousin’s house and celebrated Christmas there with her relatives. Here they are.


I tried a new kind of food which is this meat jello type dish that I’ve heard other friends have had to try with their host families and I haven’t been looking forward to encountering. Yeah I wasn’t a big fan. The other stuff was good though and we had lots of toasts to give because it was going to be my birthday the next day, Aliona’s mom’s the next, and Aliona’s mom’s older sister’s on the 13th. My friend taught me how to say cheers in Gagauzian which is something like salac Allah versin and everyone got a kick out of me saying this. After dinner we went back to Aliona’s house and watched TV for a while then Aliona and I went to the village disco to meet her cousins. This was a lot more fun than I expected. It was just like in the US when you come home from college for winter break and go to the bar and everyone you know from high school is there. The DJ played one Ace of Base song I knew and then the rest was mostly traditional Gagauzian music. I got to dance the hora a couple of times so that was a first for me. That’s the traditional circle dance you see a lot in Moldova and other countries where you hold hands with everyone and sashay around the circle crossing your feet or kicking your legs up now and then. I got to meet a bunch of people including a couple of girls my age who were absolutely amazed to see an American there and I had fun talking to them. Here is a picture of the outside of the retro disco.


Overall, I thought life in the village seemed pretty good but it’s also one of the biggest villages with more than 12,000 people and I was staying in a newly renovated apartment. However, there are no jobs to speak of, most people have outhouses instead of bathrooms (including the disco), and often they do not have running water and their houses can be very cold. I like how in the villages everyone knows each other and says hi on the street and that they still carry out all these old traditions. I’m looking forward to visiting more villages around Moldova soon.

I left Congaz in the afternoon on the 8th, my birthday, and since it was difficult to find a bus because of the holiday my friend flagged someone down who was driving to Chisinau and I went with 2 other guys who were waiting at the bus stop to go to Chisinau as well. We got there a lot faster than we would have with the bus and I didn’t feel unsafe at all. The guy blasted Russian pop music the whole way and no one talked at all. He dropped us off in the center and he didn’t want to accept any money from us but I gave him 50 lei anyway which is what it would cost for the bus. About $5 for a 2.5 hour drive.

So then it was time to celebrate my birthday. I had planned with Melissa and Liz to go out to dinner because we hadn’t seen each other for a long time and had a lot to catch up on about our holiday travels. Melissa came to my house and brought earrings from Italy as well as an amazingly random bag of gifts from her host mom which included a liter of homemade wine, a bath towel, a Milka chocolate bar, soap, deodorant, hand cream, and probably something else I'm forgetting. Quite a surprise. Liz decided to stay in a hostel in Chisinau because she just really loves doing that and she met a couple of American guys and an Israeli guy who were visiting Moldova so they came out with us too. We met up with other Fulbrighters, Peace Corps Volunteers, and my Russian friend at Bier Platz. My Russian friend decided that we should carry out a Moldovan tradition and I got a little nervous when I saw him plotting with Melissa and Liz. He got 4 of the Peace Corps guys to lift me up in my chair 23 times and sing happy birthday and since my friend is really into photography he took a bunch of pictures of this happening in which I probably look absolutely terrified because I thought I was going to die. It was a cute idea though.

I will upload pictures from all the excitement soon. Don't worry.

Back in Moldova

I figure I should update my blog simply because I haven't in so long. I'm still alive. I spent a few days in December at my friend's place in Timisoara, Romania and had an awesome time. We went to a very alternative political staging of Julius Ceasar that included a live rottweiler, a significant amount of nudity and violence, and a role played by a famous Romanian ballet dancer. Very interesting stuff. Other than that, we explored the beautiful downtown of Timisoara, went to its art museum, saw Tron in 3D at the huge new mall, met some of my friend's friends who were also home on break, and went to a holiday concert. My friend's mom also cooked us some delicious food and both her parents were great hosts. After that trip, I came back to Chisinau for a day then flew home to Maine for a week where a got to see family that I hadn't seen in a long time and also quite a few friends. I got back to Moldova on Thursday but my luggage didn't make it so I was pretty worried about that for a few days since I had packed a ton of stuff in my suitcase but I was able to pick it up at the airport on Sunday so that wasn't too bad. I had a fun New Year's Eve at the Marine House and am going back to work at Winrock tomorrow. Just a few more days before Orthodox Christmas and I think I'll be spending that holiday with my friend and her parents in Gagauzia. Then my friends will be coming to Chisinau for my birthday on Saturday! Lots to look forward to.

Oh and Happy New Year! La Multi Ani! S Novim Godom!